Like most humans, I don’t have a completely regret free life, but I have learned a few tips to help me find one.
My life isn’t perfect. People have walked over me and others have abandoned me.
2017 was an insane year for me and I believe I did more growing in a year then I had in my past 18 years.
A huge lesson I learned was how to work on achieving a regret free life. (2017 gave me a lot of opportunities to regret.) And today, I’m going to share seven tips I learned during this time to stop regretting.
1. Expectations don’t equal reality.
Expectations often lead to disappointment.
This one took me so long to understand and practice. I’m the type of person who gives and gives to people.
Sometimes, (okay, a lot of the time) I get jealous when they don’t expend as much effort as I do. I start expecting them to behave like me, but they’re not me, and I have to accept that.
2. Forgiveness Does More for You than for the Recipient
This one will probably take a while.
It’s exhausting to forgive someone who hurt you. But I promise you’ll feel better afterwards. You don’t have to forgive the person to their face. You can write a letter and read it to yourself.
I had someone hurt me pretty bad last year. But this year, I decided I wasn’t going to let that negativity control my life anymore. I wrote out a forgiveness letter to them and I haven’t looked back since.
I learned that writing out what I was forgiving them for helped me so much! Sometimes I go back and read that letter and it brings tears to my eyes, I’m so happy I did this.
Seriously, stop holding onto the pain of the past. Don’t let those negative people control your thoughts and time anymore. Forgive them and move on.
3. Don’t Let Future Pain Ruin Happy Memories
Learn to love those moments.
Sometimes it’s hard to think about the happy moments you shared with someone who later caused you pain. Those happy moments shaped you into the person you are today as much as the pain did.
Pain changes you, but so does happiness.
Don’t regret the happy moments. They don’t last forever. Enjoy them while they last and smile when you remember them later.
4. Understand Everything Happens for a Reason
This tip has helped me cultivate a regret free life more than any others. I’ve seen reasons in everything from broken iPhones to broken relationships. And, it’s changed my perspective on everything.
5. Be Authentic
If you pretend to be someone else, you’re gonna regret it in the end. Persistently pursue being 100% you. (Hehehe, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it.)
Ever since I was a young child, I’ve worked hard to be authentic in every situation I’m in.
Both online and face to face.
(Albeit, it’s pretty hard to show y’all how much energy I have and how weird and awkward I am through a blog post. Oh well.)
6. Make Your Dreams a Reality.
You only have one life and life is about taking risks.
Dreams are scary because sometimes they fail, but in the end, you either learn a lesson or the dream becomes a reality. And, for me, that’s motivation enough.
I’ve always been a dreamer. As a child, I dreamed about what I wanted my life to be when I grew up and became an adult. I dreamed about the impact I wanted to make in the world. And, there’s nothing more fulfilling than working hard to make those dreams a reality.
7. Accept Yourself
These tips are hard but this one is probably the hardest. I’ve learned we humans are hardest on ourselves. We beat ourselves up over the smallest mistakes: a point less on a test, an extra doughnut, a missed workout, a miscommunication with a friend, and so much more.
But, as we give others grace and forgiveness and accept their humanness and that they make mistakes, we need to do the same for ourselves.
George R. R. Martin once said in his epic work ‘Game of Thrones:
‘Once you accept your flaws, no one can use them against you.– Tyrion Lannister
And, I believe this wholeheartedly. If you spend more than 10 minutes with me, you’ll probably hear at least one self-deprecating joke. I learned a long time ago, if you laugh at yourself first, everyone eventually laughs with you.
Once you accept yourself, you stop caring what people think of you. That is the best way to have a regret free life.
Live life on your terms, not on everyone else’s.
You are in control of your future.
Take a deep breath and move forward. You got this. I believe in you.
Which of these tips are you going to implement in your life? Did I miss any tips? Let me know in the comments below!
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